Bloodlust
by katiesmith12
Summary: One year ago Rose leaves the academy to live at court with Adrian, when she went she left behind everyone she cared about and now she has returned she realises that some things cannot be forgiven.
1. Welcome Home

I stood at the gates of St Vlad's; they were wrought iron, majestic and huge, intricate patterns ran through it, showing of the school's power and history. The name of the school (St Vladimir's Academy) was at the top, huge letters made out of more iron.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, I didn't know what to expect; from my friends or the rest of the student body. Not to mention Dimitri.

Dimitri…

One year ago I ran off with Adrian Ivashkov, a royal Morai who had taken a fancy to me during a ski trip a couple of years ago. At the time I found him irritating and arrogant. But I soon saw the better side of him- he loved me and cared about me, he was also sweet and funny. But that's where things got complicated. There was my mentor Dimitri. I had loved him and he had loved me, but because of our positions we couldn't be together. We had moments where we would lose control and that would lead to stolen kisses or hugs but that was it. So when Adrian followed me back to the Academy, I didn't hesitate in getting to know him, and low and behold we fell in love.

I know what you're saying. "But you were in love with Dimitri, how could you just fall in love with this other guy so quickly!"

But the thing is with Dimitri, I soon realised it was just the factor that any relationship I had with him would have been utterly forbidden, illegal even seeing as he was seven years my senior not to mention my mentor. It was just for the thrill of it. Adrian on the other hand was completely available, sort of, and the feelings I had with him were stronger anyway.

So I told Dimitri, I told him about what I had with Adrian. He didn't take it well.

"Dimitri, I have something to tell you" I confessed. Training had just finished and I was storing the equipment in the cupboard.

"What is it?" He sounded worried "Are you hurt, is it Lissa? Or is the darkness coming back?" (I'll explain about that later)

"No! It's nothing like that at all" I said quickly turning around to face him.

"What is it then?"

"I love Adrian." I whispered, looking anywhere but his face, but I saw it anyway; his face fell, hurt and pain filled his eyes, his mouth set into a hard line-his way of bottling up his feelings.

"Adrian? As in Adrian Ivashkov?" He replied stiffly.

"Yeah, were dating"

"Rose, he's a bad influence!" Dimitri took a few steps towards me, grabbing my wrists. "And he's a moroi, he's just going to use you then leave you!" He cried shaking me.

"No, it's not like that" I argued

"He's royal, what would he want with a dhampire like you anyway" Hurt flooded through me as I ripped away from him.

"He loves me that's what!" I yelled at him "And he doesn't care what other people think about it!"

I turned around and stormed out of the gym, grabbing my stuff on the way. Pausing at the doors, I said "I thought you'd be happy for me"

"Rose, I…."

I didn't hear what else he said because I was gone, running across the practise field, and though the stadium to the novice dorms.

I grimaced as I recalled my last meeting with Dimitri; Adrian and I had left soon afterwards anyway.

"Excuse me!" A sharp, penetrating voice with a slight French accent shattered the silence. "Who are you?"

I looked up and grinned, someone must have informed the headmistress that some dhampire was causing problems at the main gates.

"Hi, Ms Kirova, it's Rose Hathaway." I replied cheerily, god I hated Kirova but she wouldn't let me in if I acted hostile.

"Rose? Hathaway?" She looked shocked as she peered though the bars at me.

I supposed I had changed a bit. I mean I cut my hair more stylishly now, thinned and layered and all that, plus I'd dyed it a lighter brown so it wasn't so black anymore. Other than that I hadn't changed at all.

"Yes" I clarified "I came to see my friends, I'm just staying a few day, a week or so" I smiled sweetly.

"Oh Rose, I don't know if you will be allowed to do that, considering the circumstances you left in"

"Please, miss, I have to see Lissa and Mason and Eddie, I miss them so much! Even Christian" I begged

She just acted like she hadn't heard me "Where is Adrian?" She asked

"He has business to do" I replied

"Well I suppose I can let you in for one week only" she declared unlocking the gates "One week and that's it, do you understand?" I nodded. "And if you cause even one tiny little dispute you're out"

"Of course" I promised

She lead me towards the administers building, where I had to sign all sorts of paper work it was tedious and boring. Finally I was allowed to leave.

"Do you know where I can find Lissa?" I asked the woman at the counter

"Oh, you mean Lissa Dragmir?" She asked sweetly

"Yes"

"Well the school day has just finished so she will most properly be in her dorm or in one of the lounges" She said flipping though a thick book. Her dorm in number 134 over on the seniors block" she pointed to a building to the west. "Oh and here is the key to your room" She handed me a silver key attached to a necklace. I slung it over my neck.

"Thanks" I called over my shoulder as I walked away.

I walked over to the seniors block. I felt for Lissa with my mind, we'd had a bond ever since she brought me back from the dead in a car crash that killed her family. Now I could feel her feelings and thoughts, but only when I looked for them. Now I could see she was in her room, lying on her bed reading 'Romeo and Juliet"

I knocked on the door; I could hear her get up and cross the room to the door to open it. Surprise clouded her face, then anger. She slammed the door in my face, and I didn't blame her.

"Lissa!" I cried, opening the door "I'm sorry!" I entered the room, it was immaculately clean, well at least Lissa's side was. Whoever she shared a room with was a total grot, a bit like me actually. There bed was unmade and clothes scattered the floor and spilled out of the closet. Posters covered the wall above their bed, most of them topless guys. As well as a few photos.

The room was void of Lissa. "Liss?" I called looking around and for the first time noticing a door off to the side that must have been a bathroom. I strode over to it. Opening it. Lissa was sitting on the floor leaning against the bath, sobbing.  
"Oh, lissa' I cried crouching down next to her "I didn't mean to hurt you"

"But you left me" she sobbed "You ran off with Adrian and left me!" My heart broke to see her like this.

"I had to Lissa; everyone including you gave me a hard time about it"

"He's a bad influence and dhampires never have long term relationships with Moroi anyway, I didn't want to see you hurt" she said defended herself.

"Why does everyone say that, there is not rule against it?" I cried frustrated at the world.

"Well Rose, where is he now?" She demanded "He left you didn't he!"

"No" I replied calmly "He's gone to Romania on a meeting and I didn't want to go so I came here instead"

"Nice of you to pop by" she sneered

"Lissa!" I shook her shoulder " This isn't you, what's up?" Then I saw it; all the pain and humiliation she had suffered after I'd run away, all the rumours about me that she had to sort out. Christian leaving her.

"Oh lissa" I hugged her to me "I'm so sorry, sorry for everything" Forgiveness flowed through our bond, because ultimately she was happy to have me back.

We sat like that for a long time. Until her roomie came back.

"Lissa?" She called switching on the lights. Lissa ignored her.

"Lissa, are you here?" the voice sounded vaguely familiar, but also different, I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Lissa, who is it?" I whispered. Lissa looked scared, like maybe she shouldn't have ever become friends with whoever was out there.

"It's umm, Rose don't do anything rash okayy" She whispered back. I tried to probe into her mind but lissa was thinking about her math homework-blocking me out.

"Liss" I hissed, I easily lost my temper and became stressed and worried.

"It's okayy" She soothed "I promise"

Lissa stood up and held my hand, leading me towards the door. I let go of her hand when she opened the door and walked through.

Mia was cleaning up her side of the room, put she dropped the pillow she was holding when she saw me walk through the door.

"Rose?" She looked over my shoulder at Lissa questioningly "What is she doing here" She hissed.

"I'm here to see my friends" I sneered "What are you doing here?"

"I live here dumbass" She retorted angrily.

"Well I see you've grown up a little' I teased "You don't look like an eleven year old anymore at least!" Mia looked very young and I used to take a lot of pleasure in reminding her often.

"And I see your just as slutty as ever" She sneered back "You still dating that junkie, Adrian?"

"Adrians not a junkie!" I yelled at her, stepping forwards

"Rose!" Lissa grabbed my hand and pulled me back "Calm down, Mia's changed!

"Yeah right" I retorted "She's just as immature as she was before"

"Rose, she my friend now" Lissa said

"Fine" I pulled out of her grasp and talked towards the door.

"See you around Liss; I'm going to see Mason. I slammed the door shut behind me.

I hurried towards the dhampire dorms. They weren't that far from the moroi ones anyway. Halfway there I realised I didn't know the number to his room; I didn't want to be knocking on random doors while everyone was sleeping. So I turned around and headed towards the guest suites. It was so weird staying in these rooms, I was so used to being a student here and anyway I hadn't gotten used to the idea that I wasn't anymore.

I threw my bag down on the lounge, and then made my way over to the bed, it was large and soft, a few pillows scattered over it. Nothing plain, but nothing like what we had at the royal courts either.

I lay in the bed curled up like a little ball, cold and lonely. I was so used to having Adrian lying beside me, holding me keeping me warm. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I thought about the fight I'd had with Lissa, Maybe I'd been selfish I mean I had abandoned her after all. I cried for all the hurt I'd caused just so I could be with Adrian, was it even worth it? Then I shook the thought out of my head, yes of course it was.

I was exhausted, mentally and physically. It didn't take me long to fall asleep.

I woke late the next morning, the sun was gone and I'm sure breakfast was well and truly over and classes had started. I got up and applied some makeup and fixed my hair. It looked like a disaster zone. When I was done I didn't bother to clean the room, I mean I was only going to be here for a few more days.

Instead I set out to find Mason.

According to a dark haired Moroi girl Mason was in a training class, in the gym across campus. So I started the walk towards their, mumbling to myself about the disadvantages of having the gym so far away from our...I mean their dorms. When I finally got there I didn't hesitate in going right on in, not bothering to knock or any of those formalities. They were in the middle of a sparing, and the instructor was…Dimitri, since when did he do classes?

"Rose, Rose? Rose Hathaway?" My name was echoed twenty times over when my classmates saw me.

"Rose?" Dimitri was striding towards me; anger glinted in his eyes "What are you doing here?"

"Umm, I came to see Mason" I said boldly searching the class for him; he was right up the back, puffing with exertion, but grinning broadly nether the less.

"Mason is busy, he's in class" Dimitri informed me.

"Please, Dimitri I haven't seen him in such a long time" I begged. Something close to sadness or maybe it was jealously shone it Dmitry's face.

"Mason is in class, Rose" He repeated, sounding so much like the other teachersstupid "And he's busy"

"Yes, but I really want to see him" I pleaded "Please?" I fluttered my eyelashes. I heard a couple snickers come from the class and by this time Mason had walked forwards to argue his case.

"Come on, Belikov, let me go" He grinned easily at Dimitri.

"I said no" Dimitri snarled "If Rose loved you so much she would have stayed at the academy, not galloping of into the sunset with that Moroi!"

"It's none of your business!" I yelled back, God this was embarrassing not to mention painful, the look on Dimitri's face….

"Just leave Rose" He finally said.

"But..I…" I started

"I said go!" He said the words with so much venom and hatred that I recoiled in shock. I gave Mason a 'see you later' look and swiftly left, unable to shake the look of sach hadred on his face.

I sat outside the gym while I waited for Masaon to finish class and as it was nearly over i didnt have to wait long.

"Rose!" Mason grinned happily at me as I stood up. He pulled me into a hug and when he let go he was still smiling.

"I've missed you so much, things are alot different without you here" he said, Starting to walk towards the caffertiera.

"I know" i said simply "I went to visit Lissa last night, I never realised she was friends with Mia Rinaldi now"

"Strange isnt it" Mason laughed "Mia was such a bitch to her"

"When did she and Christian break up? I asked, changing the subject.

Mason stopped and moved towards some seats away from the crowds.

"A while ago" he said "She was pretty messed up afterwards"

"I wish I could have been there for her" I said, looking at the ground, regreating my actions and the toll they had taken on my friends.

"I guess we can't change the past" he replied, looking at me.

"I guess not"

"Why did you go Rose?" He asked and my heart broke at the pain in his voice. "You just left, everyone was calling you a slut, some said you were pregnant"

"I love him Mase, I really do, I can't imagine myself with anyone else"

"Not even Dimitri?"

Horror flooded me, did Mason know? My deepest secrete, no one, not even Lissa knew.

So I laughed "Dimitri? As if"

"Rose, it's kinda obvious, didn't you see his face back there?"

"I don't know what you saw, but there never has been or will be anything between me and Dimitri"

I couldn't handle it anymore. The blame, the guilt, the accusations. I stood up and walked away from him.

"See you later" was all I could manage to say, before I ran away.


	2. Update important infomation

Okay Guys, I just wanted to let you know how often I update and stuff like that

**I will update a new chapter every week unless I'm really busy with school and in that case I'll let you know, but I'm on school holidays at the moment so I will be putting the next chapter up in the next few day. **

The next chapter shows a lot of rose's emotions and feelings surrounding what has happened as well as giving some insight to what happened between Lissa and Christian. It also shows Rose's feelings about Dimitri (I'm not going to tell you what the feeling are; you're going to have to read it ) and also how she feels about Adrian.


	3. These are my Confessions

Hey everybody! The next chapters up,, I hope you enjoy it! xx

I ran to my room, ripped the door open and slammed it behind me, making the walls shake. A picture fell and smashed against the floor; glass spraying everywhere. But I hardly noticed. All the emotions that I had held back in the past year were bubbling to the surface, all the guilt, love, regret and longing. I lay back on the bed and let the tears flow. I didn't usually cry. Hell, I _never _cried. But I couldn't handle it anymore; all my friends hated me for leaving them- they couldn't understand that I actually _**loved **_Adrian. I could talk to him about anything and he could tell me anything. We fought, yes, but we couldn't stand being apart so we made up quickly. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me, that he wasn't just using me or playing me .He loved me and he cared about what happens to me and he would die if anything ever happened to me. Well…That's how I would put being in love anyway.

I feel so guilty about leaving Lissa but I couldn't face her after what I had done. I knew that Christian had confessed about that night. That night that was my biggest mistake of my life and properly his as well. If I could go back in time to change one thing, it would be what happened after I left Dimitri at the gym. I don't think Lissa forgive me after what I had done; I didn't know if I would forgive her if she had done it to me.

And then there was Dimitri, my lovely Dimitri with his smoldering good looks and his beautiful accent. He was my former lover and mentor. Back then I would have sworn before every God out there that he was the love of my life and there would never be any other. Oh, how wrong had I been. I should have known anything I had with him was doomed from the very first kiss. He was my fucking mentor! Of course it would have never worked. Not in a million years. Well. It didn't matter anymore anyway. He hated me and wanted me out of his life forever. The thought made my stomach hurt and my sobs to come harder.

When I first met Adrian, I'd been in the pure ecstasy of my relationship with Dimitri. I loved him passionately and I'd taken to sneaking around behind everyone's back to see him. I had been almost seventeen and there had been a strigoi attack not far from the school , so parents were reluctant to remove their children from the safely of our schools magical wards for Christmas.

The school council had come up with an alternative option. They would temporarily relocate the students to a specialized ski resort. The ski resort was run especially for Moroi (the good vampire) and their guardians Dhampires (people like me). It ran on a night schedule and was heavily protected and guarded.

The solution was that the student's families could come and stay at the resort with their kids as a sort of 'free and perfectly safe holiday'. And for some reason I cannot even work out now, Adrian was there even though he was neither student nor family.

I'd disliked him from the moment he spoke to me. He seemed was the poster boy for the other royal guys; Charming and good-looking but also extremely arrogant, self-centered and spoiled. We talked for a bit and then the wild rumors (fueled by non other that Lissa new BFF, Mia) started. Apparently at the Ski resort I not only went to parties and such with him, I also stayed the night in his room and slept with him. When really all we had done was talk.

It turned out he was a spirit user like Lissa, which in its own right was amazing because there were so few of them. He returned to the academy with us, so that they could learn off each other and try to work out how to deal with the darkness and insanity that came with using the magic.

Also turns out that he took to waiting for me to finish class_** just **_so he could talk to me and get to know me. Which as well as being incredibly sweet and romantic was extremely irritating while I was so infatuated with Dimitri.

After the passion of my relationship with Dimitri had died down, I realized that I couldn't go on like this; sneaking and lying to my friends, it broke my heart. But what hurt more was that they wouldn't accept the fact that I was falling for Adrian.

I was in Lissa's room getting ready for a party when she brought the subject up.

"I saw you with Adrian again yesterday" Lissa lounged on the lounge as I painted my nails.

"Yeah, what of it?" I asked, my voice shuddering a little-I knew what she was about to say.

"He's a bad influence Rose; don't get involved with people like that"

"Like anyone could influence me" I laughed it off, "If I don't want to do something, I won't"

"That's not the problem"

"What is?"

"He's a drug addict Rose" She said angrily, sitting up "How can you not see that!"

"How could you not understand?" I retorted "You know why he does it, and its only alcohol and cigarettes. There are worse things to get addicted to"

"I just want what's best for you" she said, lying back down. "I don't want to see you hurt"

"I can look after myself"

She didn't say anything for a long time and for the first time since we had met, the silence was uncomfortable.

I took a deep breath "I really like him Liss, and I really want this to work out for us"

Now she stood up, panicked. "He's using you Rose, please listen to me!"

I stood up too, I don't like to feel inferior to anyone else "You know what? I don't think he is"

"How can you know that?" she argued.

"I know what he's like" She said "He's just like the rest of them"

"No, this is different" I argued "I can tell"

She sighed, her expression somber and worried

"Just please be careful Rose" She begged "For me?"

"Of course Liss, When am I not careful" I laughed, the awkwardness between as wavering.

I was snapped back to reality by someone banging my door down.

"Rose!" it was Mason, I should've known "Open up!"

I waited. I didn't know whether I actually wanted to talk to him. What would I say? 'Hey Mase, you're right! I actually did love Dimitri even though he was my teacher and all?'

"Rose, please just open up, I want to talk to you!" he was banging again.

I got up and crossed the room and when I opened the door, he stood there, taking in my disheveled appearance; hair a mess, tear streaks running down my face…

"Rose, I'm sorry" he smiled sadly "I didn't mean to upset you, it's just that…Well…Everyone kind of knew."

Horror flooded threw me and I turned away and walked back towards my bed; reluctant to let Mason see me break down.

"Go away" I croaked

But he didn't he shut the door behind him and sat next to me on the bed.

"So it's true then?" he asked, putting an arm around me "You loved Dimitri?"

I guess it was time to finally tell someone the truth, I decided to tell him _everything_ that I had kept bottled up since I'd met Dimitri.


End file.
